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“NuNu’s Revenge” Story Coming Soon

[Chapter 2 to the "Johnny Lonny Story"]

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The “Johnny Lonny …200 Dollaz ” Story

A guy named Johnny Lonny goes over to his homie Mark‘s house, rings the bell, and Mark’s wifey NuNu opens the door.

Johnny: ” Whats Poppin’? …  is Mark here?”

NuNu: ” Nope, he went to the store… he’ll be back soon”

Johnny: “Oh ok, Im Johnny, he is expecting me. Is its cool if I chill in the house and wait for him?”

NuNu: Uhhm… yea,yea its cool. Come in.”

(Johnny walks in the house and notices NuNu’s juicy phat ass & big ol’ Titties, then licks his lips.)

NuNu: You can sit right there by the tv. Let me turn it on for you.

(NuNu drops the remote. Bends over to picks it up and Johnny’s d*ck  instantly gets hard. NuNu raises back up and notices Johnny’s hard d*ck)

NuNu: Sheesh, you got a big ass d*ck

(Johnny smerks and asks NuNu)

Johnny: You wanna see it?

NuNu: Nah, I gotta man plus his d*ck is way bigger then yours.

Johnny: Yea f*ckin’ right…. my d*ck is way bigger then what you can see in these levi’s baby girl

NuNu: That’s what a lil d*ck mutha f*cka would say.

Johnny: Nah baby, I’m definitely  not like them other dudes. I GOT SWIPE & know how to put “him” to work.

NuNu: Damn , ok you got me wondering. Let me see it and hurry up before my baby gets here. NO FUNNY STUFF either! I just want to see if you’re telling the truth & that’s IT!

Johnny: Ok, I got you baby girl.

NuNu: Stop calling me that and show me that sh*t.

(Johnny gets up, unzips his zipper and his jeans hit the floor.)

PART 2

Johnny: So, watcha think?

NuNu: Dammmmmmmmmmmmmmmnnnnnn Daddy.

Johnny: Oh, so im daddy now.

(Johnny gets closer to NuNu…..  NuNu backs up)

NuNu: Don’t get sh*t twisted negro. You ain’t dickmatize me.

Johnny: Stop fronting like you don’t want this right here, right now.

(NuNu stutters)

NuNu: N-N-N-No I don’t. You can put your pants back on now.

Johnny: Can you do it for me?

NuNu: What the f*ck nigga. You got hands.

Johnny: I know, I know , but I want you to do it for me

NuNu: What the f*ck n*gga. You got hands. Do it yourself! ….Hurry up too.

Johnny: Please, can you do it for me. I’ll pay you 50 dollars.

(NuNu paused and thought to herself)

NuNu: *Damn, i do need to pay by phone bill, and mark been low on money*

NuNu: Fine i’ll do it for $50.

(Johnny hands her the money and she put its in her bra.  NuNu gets closer to Johnny while his dick stares right at her. She almost pulls up Johnny’s pants half-way and suddenly he grabs her hand)

Johnny: Hold up baby girl. You want to make another $50

NuNu: Yea , BUT what i got to do?

(Johnny grabs her closer and says……

PART 3

Johnny: You got to make this hard d*ck a soft d*ck.

NuNu: Negro, now what the f*ck does that mean.

(Johnny shakes his head)

Johnny: You know what i mean. I want you suck my d*ck!

NuNu: Ugh NoOooO, I never sucked  d*ck before. What? You think I’m some kind of cheap hoe?

(Johnny says in his head *YES  B*TCH I THINK YOU’RE A HOE*)

Johnny: Of course not baby girl. Why would I think you’re a hoe?

NuNu: Negro, you just asked me to suck your dick for 50 dollars.

Johnny: Okay, my bad…I’m sorry.

NuNu: Shiiiit, you could of at least said $150.

(Johnny smiles and flashed her a Benjamin Franklin and a Ulysses S. Grant)

NuNu: See, now we’re talking.

(Nunu put the 150 dollars in her bra.)

*NOW SHE GOT $200!!!!!! .. for the ones who can’t count*

(Johnny pulls his pants down all the way and watches the top off NuNu’s head bob back & forth as if she was in a rocking chair. )

Johnny: Damn, baby girl. You’re head game is the truth.You sure you haven’t done this before?

(With Johnny’s d*ck still in her mouth she says)

NuNu: uhmMm NEVER!.

(*Just another b*tch lying’ about sucking’ d*ck*)

Johnny: Yea right , b*tch.

NuNu: What did you say?

Johnny: Oh, nothing … you’re doing great baby girl.

(Nunu smiles with the d*ck still inside her mouth.)

(6 minutes have passed)

Johnny: Baby girl!  I’m about to nut.

NuNu: Not in my mouth.

Johnny: oOoOOAhhHHdfdsUghassAhHHH  ….. Too Late!

(NuNu runs to the bathroom and spits Johnny’s cum out her mouth.)

(Nunu walks back to the living room.)

NuNu: NEGGGRRROOO im going to beat yo  a-a-a-a-

(Before NuNu could finish her sentence …they both heard someone with keys at the door)

The Final Part 4

NuNu: Oh my God,  it’s Mark! …Hurry run to the bathroom.

(Johnny ran to the bathroom right before Mark walked inside his home.)

NuNu: Hey babe! I miss you babe! Where you been babe!

(Nunu kisses Mark on his lips =/)

Mark: I was at the store then had to get some money.

(Mark walks toward the bathroom…. where Johnny is hiding)

NuNu: Ooo0ooh babe  hold up.

Mark: What babe!? Why you telling me to hold up  ?

NuNu: There’s no toilet paper…. Im just now remembering. Let me get you a roll and put it in the bathroom.

(NuNu speeds to the bathroom  )

NuNu: Johnny go through that window now .. Marks coming  in the bathroom!

Johnny:B-B-B- But that windows is too small I won’t fit.

NuNu: You stupid mutha f*cka.. squeeze through. NOW!!!

(Mark starts to get a little suspicious)

Mark: Baby, what the hell you doing

(Mark walks toward the bathroom)

(Opens the bathroom door & it’s just NuNu inside with a roll on tissue paper.)

NuNu: Here you go babe, it’s the last roll

Mark: Ok, Thanx now get out! I need to take a sh*t

(NuNu walks out the bathroom ..RELIEVED!)

*15-30 mins later*

(Mark came out of the bathroom )

Mark: NuNu!

NuNu: Yes Babe?

Mark:
Did anyone come to the house?

(Nunu pauses)


NuNu:
Oh yes babe. Some weird ass guy named Johnny Lonny

(Mark thinks about this for a second and says)

Mark: “Well did he drop off the 200 dollars  he owes me?”

(Nunu face went pale. Scrunches her face then quickly turns it into a fake smile. Then hands Mark the $200 in her bra.)

THEEE END ……

You got played b*tch!


ByKandyman

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The What does F**K Mean Story

Their was this kid that always got picked on at school. everyday his friends and kids that went to school always said to him f**k you.well the dumb kid always was curious about what the word f**k means. one day he got real sad and wanted to know what it meant,so he ran home and rushed in the house screaming out for his father. he yelled “pah”and then his pa came out and asked what hell you want boy? the boy said “pah” what does f**k mean. and then his pah said son i think its time you knew what f**k mean. pah then yelled out “mah” get down here son want sto know what f**k mean. mah comes down stairs pah says mah take off your clothes and get in your position.he turns to his son and said son you see that pink spot on mah.”uh huh”watch your pah go to work. then the boys sister came in the door and says what are they doin? the boy turns his head and with a smile he says they fuckin. sister says what does f**k mean.

By-@AJ

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(JayJay decided to go skiing with the homie, Mikey. They loaded up JayJay’s
minivan and headed north. After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a bad blizzard.
They pulled into a nearby Cabin and asked the Sexy ASS lady who answered the door if they could spend the night.)

Sexy ASS lady: I realize it’s terrible weather out there and I have this huge house all to myself, but husband just died
‘I’m afraid the neighbors will talk & spread rumors if I let you stay in my house.’

JayJay: Don’t worry, we’ll be happy to sleep in the backhouse. We’ll be gone as soon as the weather gets better and what not.

(The lady was koo with it, and the two men found their way to the backhouse)
(Mickey could not fall asleep. He was tossing and turning! so as soon as JayJay fell asleep .. Mickey got up & left the backhouse and went to Sexy ASS ladies house)

KNOCK KNOCK!
(She opens the door)

Sexy ASS lady: Yes, whats the problem .

Mickey: I couldn’t sleep… mind if i keep you company.

Sexy ASS lady: Sure, Sure come in.

Part 2

(3 hours after Mickey entered the house , he returned to the backhouse and fell asleep)

About nine months later, JayJay got an unexpected letter from an attorney. It took him a few minutes to figure it out, but he finally determined that it was from the attorney of that SEXY ASS lady he had met on the ski weekend. He went to see his friend Mickey

JayJay: ‘Mickey, do you remember that Sexy ass Lady from the house we stayed at on our ski holiday up North?’

Mickey: ‘Yes, I do.’

JayJay: ‘Did you happen to get up in the middle of the night, go up to the house and pay her a visit?’

Mickey: Yes! =/ (a little embarrassed about being caught.) ‘I have to admit that I did.’

Jay Jay: ‘And did you happen to use my name instead of telling her your name?’

(Mickey’s face turned red)

Mickey: ‘Yeah, sorry, bro. i ain’t ganna lie I did. But Why do you ask?’

JayJay: ‘She just died and left me everything.’ Thanks!

Thee END!!!

CREDITS TO: http://noolmusic.com/funny_jokes/life_jokes_-_nine_months_later.php

Dear Santa,

Hi its me Little Kandyman.I just wanted to write you this letter to tell you how I’ve been good all year.I got all A+’s at Pine Elementary, I’ve been good at school & I promise i didn’t play with lil Ashley from next door during nap time.I did all my chores and didn’t even go on that http://www.bootyhunters.com website mommy told me not to go to ever again.To make a long story short I’ve been an angel & the best i could be this year. So I say that to say this! …….. WHY THE F*CK did you give me a book for christmas … got damn i just barely learnt how to read last week . Then your Mutha F*ckin’ aZZ had the nerve to bring me a magic school bus … A TOY BUS SANTA…. for real?!!!. Im in elementry now.You could of atleast got me a hotwheel! I outta Magically BUS you in the head with that sh*t. Not only did you give me a bus & a book ,you bought me some shoes that light up when i walk! Now how the fuck am i suppose to play hide and go seek with them mutha f*ckas on! WAIT you think i forgot to write something about that “PLAYSTATION 4 system” you got me? … PLAYSTATION 4?..That aint even out yet mutha F*cka and it for sure wouldnt come in a NINTENDO 64 Box.WHO HIRED YO ASS? This is the worst Christmas Ever! I hope someone robs you for your Sleigh then beat up your Reindeers “Bambi, Simba,” (or whatever their names are) so bad that your going to end up walkin back to the Northpole! Dont even try bringing your FATASS down my chimney next year.I’ll make sure the fire is on and i have your Poison and Cookies .. i mean Milk and Cookies ready for you …. FUCK YOU SANTA!

Sincerely Yours , Little Kandyman 😀


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