Archive for the ‘fuck my life’ Category

F MyLife Stories Of The Day

This section is about quick stories that would make you say FML or F*ck My Life

Today, my best friend planned a birthday party for me at the local Mexican restaurant. NO ONE showed up. We told the Mexican waiter there would be 18 arriving. Two hours later he brought me free ice cream. Even the non-english speaking waiters knew I was a loser.FML

Today, I found out my girlfriend and her best friend compare the dumps they take to common transportation. They comment about it on each others facebook page. My girlfriend’s last one was apparently a ‘coach bus’.FML

Today, some random girl from Colorado called me. She knew my name. My Facebook. I had no idea how she got my number. She then proceeds to ask me out. I say “sure” sarcastically. She then calls my girlfriend, who also lives in Colorado. Our relationship is now over.FML


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